Bailouts, ADD and high anxiety
OK, it’s scary out there right now.
The $700 billion bailout (with MY MONEY!), the debates, the stock market, gas prices, jobs disappearing- when will it END?
I admit it, I fell headlong into a state of depression for several weeks. I was so overwhelmed with the bad news that I just shut down and moved like a snail through my life.(Notice you didn’t get an ADDiva Confidante newsletter for October yet?)
I’ve finally managed to get out of the muck and feel like myself again – and it took several proactive steps. I’m listing them on the chance you might need a helping hand, too:
1. I sought the advice of my doctor …
…who decided my haphazard approach to Adderall wasn’t doing me any favors, so we adjusted the dose — downward I might add – and I am now regular about taking it twice a day. Temporarily, we also bumped up my Wellbutrin so I could pull out of the slump. My best friend’s motto is: “better living through chemistry” and I have to agree sometimes.
2. I took some time off to rest my adrenal system
I gave myself permission to take off the entire weekend to do nothing at all. Nothing. Nada. I floated, I fed myself, I napped, I read a little. I walked in the woods. None of these things improved my bottom line or helped my retirement fund. But I felt so much better on Sunday night – I felt like myself again.
3. I gave myself some simple creature comforts
When I am stressed out I need comfort food (anything sweet and white and creamy like tapioca pudding and whipped cream) and soft fluffy things (I have several throws that are ‘petting quality’ so I can rub my hand down them to feel their softness). This time, I bought myself a new pillow (I know, spending money is NOT smart, but I am sleeping SO much better now and I needed that).
4. I reconnected with my deeper self
It’s easy for me to fall back into that anxious, pessimistic Linda of old. But I know I am not that: I am the optimistic and upbeat Linda of today. Even when life is tough. ESPECIALLY when life is tough. What good is it to have a positive attitude that crumbles in the face of adversity? If I give in to the negative stuff, it’s like having a positive side that’s a turncoat, or worse, a marshmallow (umm .. marshmallows – white, sweet, comforting..)
I return to my positive self by listening more deeply to my inner wisdom – my sacred self, if you will. OK, so I reconnect with the Sacred Divine. That never disappears, no matter what the Dow Jones does.
5. I surrounded myself with positive reminders
I have lots of postcards that I created for myself (and you) so I looked at those again. I re-read some of the quotes I’ve collected from my mentors – Jack Canfield, Neale Donald Walsch, Debbie Ford. I got out my mandala book and colored a mandala – repetitive and soothing.
6. I wrote this blog post to you
…because telling someone else about how I feel makes it less overwhelming. Going public about my own panic and fear allows me to face it (and myself) in a different way. That in itself is scary: What if you judge me for being less than perfect? What if you decide that I have clay feet and don’t walk my talk? What if you want someone to FIX IT and I can’t do that?
Well, here I am in all my humanness and ADD-ishness. I’m here. For me. And you.
So here’s the opportunity to go public with your fears, your solutions, your soothing reminders. Add to the conversation so I’m not alone out here on a limb, OK?
I wanna hear from you. A lot of you.
What’s going on for you in the face of these last weeks? Scared? Shut down? Overwhelmed? Let’s hear it — you’re safe here. Any replies that aren’t supportive won’t be posted (I have veto power). You can leave your comment below my signature.
Hoping to get some chicken soup for our ADDiva souls….
Hugs and tender love
Linda
linda@addiva.net
Hey there Linda – I can relate. I\’ve been in a mild to major state of shutdown for pretty much the past year due to financial and work related stress. I feel as though I\’m moving through a glob of clear jello most of the time. I try to do what you did with the lost weekend and just chill. But then the week hits along with the work problems and the financial problems and I\’m 55 and too old to have to deal with it etc… But then I get an e-mail from you and find out I\’m pretty much on track for someone in menopause with ADD. That\’s pretty supportive and powerful – I\’m not alone in this sea of overwhelm. Thank you for reaching out cause even though you don\’t feel strong it does take a tremendous amount of inner strength to reach out. And those who also reach out and grab on will transfer their strength to you as well as receive from you and the others. It\’s like when you have every one project their positive energy to each one on the phone calls.
BTW: I need a large dose of Vlium before I even attempt to watch the news…
Take care. Hugs and more hugs.
Jan
I have enjoyed all the news today about the stock market jumping UP almost a thousand points otday. Whew. I think we’re all going to be okay. This is a huge economy with so much forward momentum I really don’t believe it can be suppressed for all that long.
It’s been so heartening to hear from all of you. I did get a note from someone who reminded ME that excusing myself from the TV, newspaper, Internet news is a good way to calm the inner turbulence, too. I recommend it highly — the less negative I allow into my psyche, the better able I am to handle anything the world sends my way!
Hugs
Linda,
Sorry you had to go through that. Yes I will use your information to help me destress myself. Right now I am feeling very stressed. I am so busy during the week that I don\’t have time for me. I am also in a job that I don\’t like. But that is going to change soon I hope. I will be working with Vocational Rehabilitation and a job coach. I hope they can help me find a job. Send me some tips on stress relief. Thanks.
Michelle
Hey Linda — As always, thank you so much for speaking out and sharing the thoughts, and fears that we all are feeling — however, with our Addiva-ish-ness, we\’ve been programmed to behave, stay hidden, play small and not talk about those things that make others uncomfortable. It does no one any good when we sit around marinating with those icky feelings — that then like to search out and cling to other icky feelings. Icky feeling can be acknowledged, recognized, and placed aside for us all to continue to hug one another and let our collective lights shine brighter!! HUGS, Joni
I can only echo the comments I read here, especially from Lana. I, too, so love the transparency of Lindas heart. I love how this community accepts one another regardless of our backgrounds, mistakes, triumphs, etc. It is such a
Oh, dear Linda, you wrote what so very many of us are feeling. If I didn\’t have a 12 y.o. daughter, I would curl up in bed for days. Normally, I am a news junkie, but now I am forcing myself to keep the television off, as well as the radio, and news websites.
You took such positive steps toward healing yourself. You wrote a list of proactive steps that I am certain we can all adapt to our own needs. How can I ever thank you?
To all of you lovely ADDivas, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. For now, I am going to make myself a cup of caffeine-free green tea. It\’s one of the few liquids I can have while I battle acid reflux – go figure!
Janie – I wrote down the verse you quoted. Thank you so much.
Dear Linda,
I can really relate. This financial situation is kind of like a slow sunami moving through our world.
My doctor adjusted my meds too — I was getting too hyper and burning out. I\’m switching from effexor to a new, supposedly better version, pristiq. (I\’m skeptical, but we\’ll see.) By the way, I\’ve also been taking vyvanse for a year now and it has been a huge improvement for me over Adderall. It\’s very smooth, lasts all day — no rebound or abrupt drop-offs.)
Anyway, I just let down for a few days. Your message about it being okay to hide came at the best time! Sometimes I just need to regroup and let my emotions and brain calm down. It\’s so comforting to find support to do so. It is quite a different perspective than I\’ve gotten from the corporate world, where it\’s definitely not okay.
When things are really bad, I buy a chocolate milkshake. Won\’t recommend that, though. Makes it really hard to lose weight! LOL. However, I guess it\’s better than heroin or ecstasy.
Anyway, keep your spirits up. It may be take years, but the financial markets should eventually recover. It helps to be patient and zen-like.
Thanks so much for your e-mails and teleseminar!
Amy
Dear Linda and fellow ADDivas,
I\\\’m so appreciative that this Blog is available for all of us to share and support each other.
I was so happy to receive your email today Linda. While I was reading it I felt compassion for you and also admiration. I admire your courage to be honest and transparent with all of us. It draws me closer to you and what you have to say because of your willingness to reveal your true self and share with us.
Linda you are a great communicator. Your message comes across with love and concern for your fellow ADDivas. Thank you for having the courage to be real and reach out to us when you are healing too.
Because of what you share and how you share it, it makes me want more of what you have to offer. Don\\\’t give up! We need you and what you are trying to offer. We know you are trying to help ADDers have more peace and love for ourselves. God bless you and your efforts.
Hy Linda,
Thank you for sharing my ways of dealing with this shit.
I\’m not even near Durham I feel the same ADD crisis here in The Netherlands.
It\’s amazing to see how much alike humans are even though we\’re worlds apart.
I\’m not telling you to hang in there. I know you will.
That\’s the thing that keeps me going no matter how deep my depression might feel.
I know I can conquer anything. It just doesn\’t feel like it all the time.
Thanxxx ADDiva to enhance life.
dear Linda, Hang in there. Remember you are not alone. We are all there in one form or another, that\’s why we know each other, if only by the sound of our voices on the monthly calls.
I deal with my fear by denying, avoiding, procrastinating. All the ADD mechanisms come out in spades! So I try to take little chunks at a time…to not let my fear allow my escapism. And be sure to get about 50% more hugs than usual. Somewhere I read, that five affirming physical touches a day, per family member, would keep us healthy. It is wonderful to lay gentle loving hands on my 6\’1\
Oh Linda,
This could not have come at a better time! The last few days I have been in such a funk! I want to crawl back in bed and make the world go away! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
For me, prayer has been my comfort. I am praying for grace and mercy on our country.
I hold fast to 2 Chronicles 7:14
If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
If you seek perfection, you will always see yourself a failure. Damn good is good enough. You are too good to stay down long. Do you remember Dr. Daniel Amen\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\’s ANTS? Automatic Negative Thoughts — translates grimlens and saboteurs.
I have tried your e-mail address several times and had them returned every time. Did you disconnect during your meltdown, change your address…?
Love,
Belinda
Linda,
I guess because I am young and prefer NOT to get to caught up in the news because it can make me depressed… I am not taking all this news in a bad way. I am thinking of using some of the cash in my accounts to BUY stocks since all the prices are down. This can be good news for some of us.
I am curious about your meds, though. I always felt better on Wellbutrin, but stopped it after I felt like it \
When I get myself starting to get into a low mood I look at the saying you sent “trust your path….even when you can’t see what’s ahead”. I put it right next to my computer so I can glance at it often. It gets those negative thoughts out of my head that will bring me down. Im glad your feelng much better.
Melissa
Wow, let\’s see…my finances are in the dumper, largely due to my ADD-ness. My paper piles are multiplying like rabbits.
I started dating and got so crazy at the notion of anyone coming to my house…. Then, after two great weeks of dating, broke it off because I am not made to be on the receiving end of someone dating other women. I\’m 48!
So, between my low-level depression which, typically gets worse this time of year, disappointment at this turn in my romantic life, and generalized anxiety about finances…I\’m fine! Ha!
I\’d forgotten how \