CogMed Day Two
It’s Day Two and I cried, OK? I cried.
This CogMed computer stuff is so hard. I get so anxious that I am not “doing well” that I want to throw in the towel.
Huh? I am not the kind of person who gives up easily. Or am I? In the past, I have hung on far too long to lost causes, but give me two days of excruciating mental ping pong and I want to quit. It doesn’t make sense.
Except that CogMed pushes my weaknesses front and center so I have to notice them. Hmmm. The very same weaknesses I have been hiding from the world (and perhaps myself) are now “public.” The CogMed computers now know how nuanced my attention can be – here, not here. There, not there.
And with no prescription meds on board except Wellbutrin (my lifeblood), I am depending on fish oil, vitamins and FocusFactor (which I am not sure has any effect at all).
So, the results of Day Two are (drum roll please):
I did better on the averages than yesterday, but some of my “best” scores dipped below the first day (the “easy” day). So I am feeling a little down. I made some stupid mistakes – whoops I never allow my clients to call themselves “stupid” so I guess they were “careless” mistakes. How’s that for reframing?
I was mad at myself for missing some easy patterns and caught some lucky breaks when I guessed and got the right answer. Is my memory better than I think it is? Seems like I trusted my intuition but maybe it was a faint memory in disguise. Hmmmm. This will require more thought.
And there is tomorrow…Day Three. Oh.. I am traveling to Jacksonville tomorrow, so Day Three won’t be until Tuesday. Stay tuned. I promise to write after each session. Uh, let’s make that every other session. This could get boring. I can’t stand boring.
Well, can you believe it? I got distracted!! Hmm.
But Day Three through Day 25 was a struggle. I was DETERMINED to finish it but it too me 9 weeks instead of 5 .. which somewhat diminishes the effect, I hear.
One of my clients is a psychologist who recently trained to become a CogMed provider and her report is that for kids CogMed is almost a necessity .. results are amazing. For adults, the results are less impressive.
My net improvement was only 17 points and the range was 17 to 43 for adults. I barely made it on to the charts. But I started with a pretty high score which made it hard to “improve.” Maybe my issue isn’t working memory. But it sure felt like it. I HATED doing it and felt so dumb when I missed easy ones. Grrr.
The price IS high, but working memory IS a big part of ADHD, adults and children alike. So if you can see your way clear, I’d do it. The thing about ADHD is that there isn’t ONE solution, there are many complementary solutions and you have to try several of them before you find the mixture that works for you.
I AM taking my fish oil religiously now, thanks to the CogMed work. And I plan to complete my bonus sessions now that I am home from the beach. Good LUCK with your son…and you !
OK, so where is day 3 of CogMed? Just kidding… my son is doing it right now, and it is TOUGH. I sit next to him sometimes and try to keep up, and to tell the truth, he kicks my butt. I would like to try it myself, actually, but the price is scaring me off. Would love to know more about the experience of other adults in the program.