Visited my family over the weekend and my impulsivity hit at the checkout counter of the local discount store. Picked up a copy of one of my all time favorite movies, Funny Girl.

Not only do I love the music, but the costumes and the rags-to-riches storyline. And Omar Sharif. And Streisand, of course.

Those bedraggled yellow roses Fanny Brice clung to on that tugboat? Fabulous.

It reminded me of how often ADDivas play Funny Girl in a variety of roles: snappy comebacks, witty jokes, sarcastic comments.

I’ve certainly done it. Cracked a joke so that people laugh with me instead of AT me.

Peeking underneath those funny girl jokes I find a jelly belly of fear and insecurity. Some real. Some imagined.

I’ve realized in recent years that jokes keep me safe, but they also hold me away from people, keep them from knowing me more fully. Of course, that’s just what I intend. If they really KNEW me, they’d run for the hills, right?

Maybe not. Perhaps being known starts with raw honesty instead of jokes. Unveiling who I am – the real me – is my first step towards self acceptance. And when I can accept me (like me? love me?) then I don’t need the funny girl facade any longer.

“Life is far from sunny
When the laugh is over
And the joke’s on you
A girl’s gotta have a sense of humor
That’s one thing you really need for sure,
When you’re a funny girl
The fellow said, a funny girl
Funny, how it ain’t so funny, funny girl.”

-Jule Steyne, composer, 1968