I found this blog post tucked away on my hard drive, unpublished and lonely from way back in 2010. And though it’s five years old, I wanted to share it with you…you’ll understand why if you read all the way to the end…

heartsHearts and roses. I didn’t get any on Valentine’s Day, but it’s OK. I know Victor loves me. He’s usually great at remembering holidays and bringing home flowers and other emblems of affection. This year, though, we were out of town, preoccupied by a very different kind of love … for our precious little grandbaby, Lilly.

Last month, Lilly’s mom and dad (my oldest son) made the very smart decision to move from California to Columbus, which is about 2000 miles closer to our house in North Carolina. Watching Lilly’s babyhood from way across the country has been difficult – we’d squint at pictures and try to watch erratic internet video on Skype and Facebook.

So we were delighted to make the quick trip to Ohio last weekend and settle into the guest room at my son and daughter-in-law’s new house. Seven-month-old Lilly provided quite the entertainment.

She’s crawling! She’s smiling! She’s squishing pureed squash through her tiny fingers! No teeth yet, but what a sunny disposition, even in the snowy gloom of winter. And that baby giggle – it melts my heart.

Victor and I got to babysit while Mom and Dad went out for a romantic Valentine’s dinner. Victor, who calls himself “Faux Pas” instead of “Grandpa” and I (now and forever known as “LaLa”) had a great time playing with Lilly ‘til she fell asleep at 8 pm. Oops. She wasn’t supposed to sleep until 9. Uh-oh; there goes the schedule.

Schedule? I’d forgotten that babies like the reassurance of regular meals and naps.  It’s been 33 years since I had a new baby of my own. And I’d forgotten how ADHD unfriendly it can be to follow the baby’s schedule instead of your own.

No question about it: life with a baby is all about the baby. After all these years, I’ve created an ADHD-shaped world that fits me. For a while (a weekend? a week?) I can slip into someone else’s life, mold myself to fit their needs.  But having a baby around full time would be a challenge to my ADD-ish requirements.

As we left for the airport Sunday night, I was glad to be heading back to my ADHD comfort zone; glad to be Grandma LaLa instead of Mommy. And though we didn’t have a traditional romantic evening as in years’ past, Victor did make my Valentine’s Day special and a little silly.

We were sitting on the runway in Cincinnati while the flight attendant was dutifully reciting the safety instructions: to release your seatbelt … put on your oxygen mask first …  in case of a water landing … and so on. I was reading the airline magazine when Victor started tickling my derriere. I was so surprised, I was almost nasty when I asked, “What are you DOING?”

With a devilish grin, he said: “Well, the flight attendant said the seat cushion could be used as flirtation device!”

Gotta love it! Happy Valentine’s Day!