OK, it’s been three weeks since my last Adderall and I am reporting on the effects (or lack of them).
For the first few days, I found myself on autopilot, reaching for the pill case that contained my little blue “energy pills.” But I steeled myself against taking them and let the ride wind down. I thought after a week, I’d evaluate my energy and focus, then decide whether to resume my meds…or not.
Well, Tracy Ware, the psychiatrist who spoke at the Meetup group two days after I stopped taking Adderall, scared the beejeezus out of me – her warnings about neurotoxicity seemed to be based in science. And I don’t want fewer Dopamine receptor sites – I want MORE. Now the jury is still out on the overall effects of amphetamines, but why tempt fate?
Tracy told me privately that the Adderall would stay in my system for at least a month. A MONTH? She said that the second week would likely be worse than the first week. Hmmm .. this sounded a lot like detox, right? I didn’t think of myself as an addict. Not ever. This was prescription medication. And I took only a tiny amount (max 2-3 pills a day of short acting 10 mg brand name Adderall).
But sure enough, the second week, I was draggy and had a hard time staying alert. Mostly, I was sleepy.
I found that if I got enough sleep at night (or with naps during the day), I was OK. But if I stayed up too late, got up too early or shorted my required 8 hours of sleep in some other way, I was blah. Just blah.
Couldn’t get things done. Couldn’t get motivated. Couldn’t get going.
But here’s the strange thing: I have been living in a mess in my bonus room/guest room for two years now. I am not proud of it. I am terribly embarrassed by it. But it’s true.
Last week (third week off Adderall), I got the darned room cleaned up. Granted, I had motivation (my kids were coming to spend the weekend with darling little Lilly). And I had help (Erica the super organizer came on Thursday morning and Janine the super housekeeper cleaned the rest of the house).
But I’ve had help before.
I’ve had motivation before.
But this is the first time I actually DID something about it.
Not only did we get the room cleaned, I bought a new bed, new curtains, new lamps and redecorated the room with a new duvet cover, pillows, mirrors and ceiling fan before they arrived! (Yes I had someone install the fan and hang the mirrors – is that cheating? Nope).
Point is that I am still tired/sleepy, but I seem to be getting things done anyway.
I am clearer about what I want and need done.
And I am pretty happy about it.
Is this an aberration?
Is it related to the absent Adderall?
Not a clue, have I.
But we’re gonna find out.
In 10 days, I am going to go back on Adderall and monitor myself closely to see how I feel, what I accomplish and how my loved ones respond to the difference (if there is a difference).
In the meantime, I am taking more naps, trying to get to bed on time (what IS on time anyway?) and working in my garden for the first time in months.